Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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