Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
