I hate all girls vehemently.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
