Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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