I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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