I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
