he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
