oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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