I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
