she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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