Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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