That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
