So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
