Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
