so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
