I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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