just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
