Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
