Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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