Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
