I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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