He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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