You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
