Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
