Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
