He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
