Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
