yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
