names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
