I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
