She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
barbara walters just said penis...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
