You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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