would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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