so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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