How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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