I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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