You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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