awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Farmville is her only friend.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
