think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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