Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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