I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
