You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just want to make out with him forever
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
