My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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