if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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