Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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