Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
