Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
