I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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