True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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