i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
