I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
