Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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